alternate1985

Family Time

2012-05-17T03:38:16Z

Okay, I have to rant about something. My family, as I've mentioned before, is made up of all conservative Christians and me, the liberal atheist. I learned long ago that arguing any kind of point with them is completely pointless, so I try not to do that anymore. In fact, I try never to mention my views to them (especially my father) ever. But every single time I see my family, it gets brought up in some way by them, not by me. Basically, they like to attack me because they know I'm outnumbered and, as they have no intention of listening to me anyway, they know I will lose. So basically it's just a big "let's shit on Ashley and all of her beliefs and everything she stands for" orgy. Usually it starts subtly, just a casual remark or statement that sounds as if they believe everyone in the room will obviously agree with it, knowing full well that it is the opposite of what I believe and that I have to argue pointlessly or sit there with my mouth shut while they trample on me, laughing to themselves.

( Read more... )

Another point I'd like to make is this: There are so many times when we argue about Christianity and religion that they actually call me closed-minded for refusing to agree that their god is real! All five of us--my parents, my brother and sister, and me--were raised as Christians, in Christian households, never taught any other way to be, never given the option of believing in anything else, because anything else was simply wrong and not worth the time or consideration, apparently. Of the five of us, I am the only one who actually considered things in a skeptic manner and went, "...Huh. Maybe it doesn't really work the way they've always told me it does...." I am the only one who was raised with a certain belief system (the same one they all share), thought about it, and came to a different conclusion about the world. So how am I the closed-minded one!? For refusing to believe in something I used to believe in and have since decided it doesn't make any sense? No, they're closed-minded, because they wouldn't even entertain the idea that there might not be some god out there. That would be blasphemous. God wouldn't like it. But could I tell them that? I mean, I could, but what would be the point?

I will never have children, but if I did, I would bring them up not to believe in any particular religion. When they got old enough to understand things (basically, past the age of believing in Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy), I would try to teach them, from a non-biased viewpoint, about the histories and major beliefs of various religions, and say if any of those religions suited them, they were welcome to follow what they chose without any grief from me. If I knew they were educated and had done their own research and come to their own conclusions, not those that anyone had pushed on them or that they had been indoctrinated into since birth, I would completely respect their decisions and not put them down or try to force my views on them. Obviously the rest of my family does not agree with this method.

comments

Dreamscape

2012-05-17T02:25:52Z

As it's been such a while since I've updated, I've got a few things to talk about. This'll be an all-dreams entry so I can write them all down before they completely drift out of my head.

( Read on.... )

comments

Just Some Dreams

2012-05-01T01:20:06Z

Last night I dreamed I had become an amazing sketch artist. (I can't draw for shit in real life, so this was pretty random.) So I took a sketchbook and traveled around, drawing individual pictures for people. For every person I met, I would draw a different person, a face I had never seen and which my mind had seemingly invented. I didn't know why I was drawing these people; I just somehow knew I needed to draw them for these strangers. I would then give that person the picture.

I kept getting very strange reactions every time I drew for someone. They'd at first be all eager and curious to see what I'd come up with, and then as soon as I gave it to them, they'd look offended, shocked, hurt...nothing good. Finally one person told me that the person I had drawn for them was a dead friend or relative or something like that. So I learned that all of these people I was drawing were people who had been known to the recipients and who had died sometime before.

I reached the conclusion that I was being followed by ghosts, or at least these other people were. There was obviously some connection to me as they were somehow allowing me to see their faces in my mind. I also somehow knew that that could not be for any good reason, and it disturbed me.

In real life, I've discussed with friends that you rarely hear stories about people having "ghost encounters" or whatever unless they're alone. So when I awoke after this dream, I was frantically clinging closer and closer to Dave and thinking, As long as I'm with someone else they can't get to me anymore! Then I realized I was awake and was being totally ridiculous. I told him about the dream this morning, but I left out that particular part, which he apparently slept through. Haha.

The night before I dreamed I moved to somewhere in the Netherlands...or it might have been Disney World. There was a tearful moment with my mother when I was leaving when I told her that since neither of us can afford to travel, it would probably be the last time I ever saw her. (And to be brutally honest, my family and I can't afford to travel from state to state, let alone to another country--so if I did ever manage to move away from here, even just across the country, it probably would be the last time I ever saw them. My subconscious did not lie.)

I also remember running through the streets of wherever I was without any clothes, and trying to dodge cops. I stopped by some little store where I apparently worked, and my boss sighed and got me a towel as if this was a normal occurrence and he was used to it. Then he told me to sit there while he dealt with the cops. But I snuck out the back of the store with the towel and went running again, and that was when I woke up.

...Just thought I'd share.

comments

Stupid Trojans

2012-04-28T03:00:36Z

After another hiatus, I have returned to the Internet! I had a Trojan on my laptop, and my totally awesome boss fixed it for me. When I took it to the Geek Squad, they told me it would cost $200. There was no way I could pay that at this time. I told my boss about it, and he said in a confused tone, "Why didn't you just bring it to me? I can fix it for free."

I kept sitting here in my room in the evenings thinking, "I'm bored. I want to write something. Oh, no computer. Well, guess I'll just go find something to do online, then. Oh, wait...." It was difficult to adjust to the no-Internet thing.

In order to fix the issue, he had to create a new admin profile for me. But this one doesn't have all my nice Mozilla bookmarks and favorites like the other one does. There has to be a way to import from one user to another on the same computer, right? ...Right? I know there are ways to do that from one computer to another. I'm too sleepy to research right now.

comments

One Epic Dream

2012-04-17T02:37:31Z

This is probably one of the most epic dreams ever, and I've been needing to write it out for a while. It was so complex and I could probably get a little screenplay of sorts going based on it. But it was a while ago now; it was only very shortly after Jess and I met Crispin Glover.

( When it began, we were there in the auditorium where we met Crispin. )

A lot of it reminded me of the paintball episode of Community, which was also, of course, epic.

As if the dream itself wasn't awesomely creepy (creepily awesome?) enough, the very next evening, I was hanging out with Dave, who took me to this gigantic outdoor mall I didn't even know existed, and he pointed out the Super-Walmart, which is apparently the second-largest in the entire country. Of course we had to go in, just to see. And when we stepped in there, I realized that was where the dream had taken place. Super-tall shelves and brown flooring and all. What a weird coincidence. I mean, it probably wasn't exact, because what I saw was a dream, and details can blur a bit upon waking. But the shelves and the floors...and the fact that I saw it the very next day...just weird.

comments

The Incredible Mr. Coy

2012-04-17T01:50:34Z

( Check out the crazy dreams! )

comments

Last Night's Dream

2012-04-03T03:10:33Z

I'd say it was the alcohol, but I have dreams of this calibre of freakiness all the time, so it was probably just a coincidence.

Last night, when I did in fact go to bed quite drunk (and quite satisfied), I had the creepiest dream that I went on a cruise or some sort of trip with a very large group of people. We were in a hotel-like area, anyway, and in the dream I was aware that at least several days had passed with these people.

I remember the atmosphere felt very shut-in...like, it wasn't a particularly small space we were in, but it felt like it would have been very difficult to leave if we'd wanted to. Not that that had been an issue so far.

And then scary shit started happening. I was essentially raped by two high school boys. I wasn't really resisting, but I had the impression that I was drugged. And they came back, and one was professing his love for me and the other was acting like I was automatically in a relationship with that guy, and I told them to leave me alone because I wasn't sure what had happened and I wasn't okay with it, and I was certainly not in love with either one of them.

Then some woman ended up killed in a mysterious manner....

And I asked myself why I had ever wanted to go on this trip in the first place.

And then I didn't know. When I started thinking about it, I realized I couldn't remember why I was on this trip, when, where, or how I had gotten the ticket, or anything else. I was just there. So I started asking other people, and nobody else knew these things, either. But every one of them warned me that I probably shouldn't be asking these questions.

Then I woke up and discovered that everything I'd had to drink before bed had apparently ended up in my ears. Weird. Everything just seemed to be sloshing around up there. Happily, that subsided very quickly.

comments

The Countess Evelyn von Seidlitz

2012-04-01T03:14:53Z

I had to preserve this here: I'm re-reading Anne Perry's William Monk series because I love the characters and the atmosphere so much (and it's been so long since the last time I read it that I don't remember what happens). So in Weighed In The Balance, all the suspects are being introduced, and one of them struck me as sounding very much like me in the initial description.

Page 44: "His wife, the Countess Evelyn, was one of the most charming women Monk had ever seen. He found it difficult not to watch her across the glittering table for longer than was seemly. He could happily have forgotten the rest of the company and simply delighted in speaking to and listening to her. She was slight, although her figure was completely feminine, but it was her face which enchanted. She had large brown eyes which seemed to be filled with laughter and intelligence. Her expression made it seem as if she knew some delightful joke about life which she would willingly share, if only she could find someone who would understand it as she did. Her mouth was always smiling and she behaved as if she wished everyone well."

Maybe I'm not the "most charming", but I certainly have my perks.

comments

It's finally official: I graduated!

2012-03-30T23:02:40Z

Today was already a good day before I'd even woken up. ( Cut for those who are bored by dream stories. )

Besides the dreams, I also went by the school and picked up my Bachelor's degree! Finally I hold the proof in my hands! I wasn't going to feel completely at ease until I did. All this time, I'd thought they were going to mail it to me. When I finally decided it had been long enough (I was supposed to receive it, after graduating, no later than the beginning of February), I e-mailed the adviser, who advised me to go and pick it up at the school.

I really, really miss being on campus. I feel like I'm having withdrawals and every time I drive within the vicinity of it or even think about it, I just want to be back there. So after I picked up my degree, I hung around for a bit and stopped to visit my old co-workers. I love them (most of them). For some reason they're always so happy to see me! And I them, of course. It's a good feeling.

Afterward I went to the public library where I usually stop to talk to certain employees. There's a newish girl there I hadn't spoken to much before today, and she actually recognized me from my UNF job, even though I haven't worked there in a month. It's funny how that happens. I love my new job, but I do miss having regular customers.

Also, two people (one of the One Stop guys and a girl at Publix) informed me that they liked my Star Wars shirt. The girl was even wearing a necklace with C-3P0 and R2-D2 on it. All in all, it's been a happy day so far.

Last night I got to see some friends, Katie and Tree, who were in from Oregon. It was the first time I'd seen them in...I think two years. So it was a really nice evening, too. The chicken taco I had (they called it the "Verde" on the menu) was good and also inexpensive, but I spent way more than I should have on flan and wine. I always go into a place telling myself I will not buy wine, but I always do. It's fucking wine!

My boss, I.T., misunderstood yesterday when I was telling him I'd see my Oregon friends that night. He looked very confused and said, "What do you mean? Are they donors or do they play?" Haha, I guess I said it too quickly and it sounded like only two syllables? I generally use three.

comments

To bed with me!

2012-03-21T04:17:52Z

Every now and then I wake up and am a little uncertain of where I am. It happened several times when I was living at the Mitchells’. It’s kind of scary, for obvious reasons, and there’s usually a brief moment of panic. Sunday morning, though...it seemed to last longer than those moments usually do, and I was looking around the room thinking, 'Where am I? Whose dresser is that? Whose bed am I in!? Why can’t I remember how I got here? Have I been in a coma? What country am I in and OH GOD, WHAT YEAR IS IT!?' I was so scared and confused I literally almost burst into tears. I think what brought me to my senses was the picture of my grandmother on the dresser. The grandmother whose ring I wear on my right hand and who I could probably almost pass for if I went back in time like 60 years. And as I looked at the picture, from out of the bizarre somehow emerged the clarity. Being alone in the room as I was, it was her face that was my anchor to waking life.

Last night I had some weird dreams.... In one, my dad was trying his hardest to kill me. There were at least four different methods he tried, the one I remember most being literally setting fire to me--but I wriggled out of the winter coat I was wearing before it caught anywhere else. And there were no people around anywhere for the longest time, and he kept chasing me! So finally I ended up dragging myself into some convenience store and, before he could try anything else, croaking out, "911! Call 911! He's trying to kill me!" to the girl behind the counter.

At the end, I came upon a poor, medium-sized dog curled up and dying, and it turned out to be my own dog (I don't actually have one in real life), whom I had named Adventure. (Thanks, Subconscious! That's an awesome name for an awesome dog.) Even though I have no memory of the dog actually being in the dream prior to that, somehow I knew he had been trying really hard to save my life the whole way through, and now he was completely injured and just lying here alone and forgotten, waiting to die, which made me really teary-eyed. I gathered him up in my arms, determined to save him, and I just kept talking to him, desperately begging him to live: "Don't die, Adventure! I'm going to save you, and you will be the happiest dog in the world! You will never need or want for anything again! Just please don't die...." And I was just cradling him and giving him water, and...it was just a dream but I'm teary-eyed just remembering it now. I really hope that, somewhere in Wonderland, he survived after the real me had to wake up. I believe he did.

In real life I wouldn't have the patience required to take care of a pet rock if its survival completely depended on me. It isn't that I dislike most animals; I just don't trust myself with the well-being of others. But I knew in that dream that was a commitment I would honor--with absolute delight--forever. Actually, I fantasize about getting a border terrier and naming him Seymour, but again, I'm just pretty sure I cuoldn't handle that much responsibility.

Anyway, so then for the second time this week, I dreamed I was making out with Buffy. I dream that a lot, though not as often as I dream about making out with Spike. I've also been both of them in my dreams before. (They appear a lot because Spike is the third sexiest guy in the world, and Sarah Michelle Gellar is one of my bi-sexual-ish girl crushes.)

Though now that I think about it, that dream may have happened first, because my dad came upon me making out with Buffy and I think that may have been what sparked the killing rampage in the other one...maybe it was one big, long dream. Or maybe that one happened after and was just a prequel; I don't know. I'm going to sleep now.

comments

A Soapy Surprise

2012-03-20T02:16:47Z

I took a big bite of soap today for lunch and am still trying not to puke thinking about it. See, there are no Zip-Locs in the house (I'll have to buy some very soon), so I've been using a Tupperware-thing to take PB&J and chips to work every day. This morning I was in a hurry, so when I washed it, I apparently didn't rinse as well as I thought.... Several hours later, after one bite of my sandwich (which I promptly spit out), I dumped everything in the trash and just skipped lunch. It's been seven hours since then, and I've eaten dinner. But I can still taste it! Ewww!

On a totally different note, I am so excited to finally see some Hogwarts-y action happening at this place. Harry Potter fans, this is for you. Come get sorted!

comments

My New Icon

2012-03-09T13:39:08Z

Thanks, arinelle! It's so awesome.

And in case anyone is wondering, that is Crispin Glover's awesome clown dance from the "Clowny Clown Clown" music video. I posted it in an earlier entry, and if you haven't watched it, I still highly recommend.

comments

I met Crispin Glover and here are the details!

2012-02-23T03:30:27Z

I got to meet Crispin Glover on Saturday night, and it totally made up for missing Anderson Cooper a few weeks ago!

( Jess and I walked in there not really knowing what to expect. )

comments

Brother Micah's View of Things

2012-02-23T01:08:01Z

Brother Micah is a crazy asshole who visits college campuses around the country (as I understand it, though it may just be within the state) and preaches his own Bible at them. In Brother Micah's Bible, God does not forgive sinners, or some such nonsense, and only people who have never sinned will get to be with him when the end comes. Brother Micah has never sinned, or so he says. So basically his message is, "Sorry, you're not me, so you're going to hell. Let me tell you all about it."

To be fair, although he visits UNF all the time, I've only gotten a chance to actually stop and listen to him a few times. But that's really all it takes.

He was visiting last week, and I got to leave work on a 10-minute to watch and point and laugh on the Green. My co-worker, Adam, who was there with me during the debate a couple weeks ago, saw me coming toward the (by that point, greatly diminished) crowd, and it was like he had been waiting for me. Like the fact that I would be coming out there at some point was inevitable. Adam is very devout in his own Christian faith, but even he can see that this guy's an evil freak.

On that particular day, we cracked up over the No Homo and No Porn buttons on his suspenders, and then laughed some more at his determination that Tim Tebow is going to hell because he posed in a magazine with--are you ready for this?--no shirt! But as I was on a 10-minute, and I was having such a good time that I wasn't paying attention to the clock, Jo (the cool supervisor) had to come out and drag me back to work.

But Brother Micah was on campus again yesterday. So I took another 10-minute. As it was my last day working for the company, I asked Adam to come out and watch with me for old times' sake. He declined, which meant yes, and we headed outside.

Once again, the cops had already gone before I'd arrived, but the crowd was larger this time, so that added to the excitement of it all a bit. There were probably about 50 people gathered around laughing at this asshole. Micah was in the process of telling some girl who was in a perfectly ordinary t-shirt and jeans that she was going to hell because she was so immodest.

"You are tempting all of these people out here into lust and masturbation!" he declared.

"Oh, I am so tempted," I announced.

He went on about porn and masturbation, to loud cheers from the crowd, who favored such things, and sex outside of marriage, to even louder cheers from the crowd. At some point he said, "Why is it that every time I ask a black person a question--?" I didn't hear the end of that one because Adam and I had fallen on each other, howling with laughter. (Adam is black, so it's okay--he knows I'm on his side.) He started talking about judgment and how evil it is.

"So why is it okay for you to judge us right now?" someone said.

"I have to! You all have led me to it," he said.

And then I decided: It was my last day. I wouldn't get to heckle anymore after this. I needed to go out with a bang. So, dragging Adam with me, I maneuvered my way into a spot in the crowd where Micah and I would have a clear view of each other.

"Hey, Micah!" I shouted. "Judge this!"

And there in the crowd of 50ish people in the middle of the Green, I flashed him.

"Yeah, there's a special place in hell for girls like you," he said.

"Oh, wow. You actually just did that. I will always have that memory of you to carry with me," Adam said.

"You're welcome," I told him. We were both cracking up.

Adam and I have a curious relationship. We like to joke about religion a lot, as he is, as I said, very devout in his faith, and I am an atheist. We make fun of each other all the time, but at the same time, it's like we each know the other one is not the extreme of our group, so we can still live together in harmony. Hence, more jokes. I remember one day I came in to work and he saw me and said, "Praise the Lord!"

"Hail Satan," I replied, without even thinking about it. And then we both laughed. That's the kind of relationship we have.

There are all kinds of videos of Brother Micah on YouTube. Be sure to check out his Gay Song. Yeah, he has a Gay Song.

comments

An Irritating Message

2012-02-21T00:53:32Z

I was sitting on the shuttle Friday morning before work, minding my own business, trying to listen to the last ever broadcast of The MJ Morning Show, when this guy took the opportunity to leap three or four seats over and sit next to me.

"Aren't you in my sociology class?" he said. And somehow, maybe because of some glimmer in the eyes, some resonation in the voice, or some evil, pompous twitch of the corners of the mouth, or perhaps because the same damn thing had happened on the shuttle only the week before with some other guy with the exact same look to him, I knew where this was going.

( He wanted to bring me to the Lord. )

Note: I listed the Van Halen song in my Music section because I was listening to it this morning and it's been stuck in my head all day, not really in an attempt to be funny, though I certainly see the humor in it.

comments

Alice In White

2012-02-09T23:31:24Z

Last night one of my co-workers, referring to Miss D., said, "What is that thing they say in Harry Potter? Thou-Who-Shouldn't-Ever-Be-Named?" I made fun of her for like ten minutes for the botched reference and atrocious grammar. (Though she freely admitted she is not a HP fan, I informed her that that was no excuse.)

Some strange dreams recently. The other night I had one where I was at Victoria's Secret marveling over all the gorgeous colors and patterns. Staring at a pair of panties with a scene of a huge, beautiful house and the accompanying huge, beautiful backyard, I suddenly found myself within the scene, and knew myself to be in Alice in Wonderland's backyard. (I'm pretty sure it was from that awesome 1980s musical mini-series.) There I found Alice making out with Snow White. Random. They were animated, though. They looked similar to the Disney characters, but like one of those cheap knock-off animation studios.

Last night I dreamed Katie and I were being hunted by the Phantom of the Movie Theatre (Screen 17). It was just him chasing us all around the one room, through all the rows of seats. We barely made it out the doors alive. It's weird...this one was based on this random, seven-year-old memory.

Somehow the Phantom dream segued into one about playing bumper cars (or, more accurately, bumper children's bicycles and tricycles) at Walmart with Cortney. So strange.

That's all for now. Got other stuff to do.

comments

The Bleu Cheese Dressing

2012-02-08T00:28:18Z

I need to post this awesome story before I forget all the details. It's been like a week already.

( Read the awesome work story! )

comments

Good People and Death Eaters

2012-02-03T21:46:56Z

"The world isn't split into good people and Death Eaters. We've all got both dark and light inside of us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are." - Sirius to Harry, Order of the Phoenix

I think this is a very wise statement about the grey areas of life. But there are grey areas even within the quote itself. For example, we slap the brand of coward on someone who is afraid to do what is right. What about someone who is afraid to do what is wrong, but would otherwise do really horrible things? What about the Death Eaters who went into hiding and did not continue to do--well, basically their life's work--simply for fear of the consequences? They weren't choosing to act on their desires, but we know they wanted to.

What about, within our own world, people who are, say, racist, or in other ways bigoted, but won't admit it to the world? "Of course I don't hate [name a group]. I have friends who are [same group]." Nobody else knows it, and you haven't acted on anything.

I guess all these examples pretty much count as Death Eaters, even the ones in the real world. Still, I think thoughts and beliefs are as important as actions as far as what makes people who they are.

I don't know what made me think of this, besides the fact that I was watching this last week.

comments

Work Tales and I'm Hungry

2012-02-03T01:37:59Z

I saw one of my fellow Colberts come into the store the other day. I'd never met any of them before that evening, but we immediately recognized each other and smiled conspiratorially. When he got up near me I said, "Colbert!" and he replied, "Yeah!" It felt as if we'd fought side by side in an epic battle against the evil Terry Jones people, because--essentially--we had.

( I need to go to more protests.... )

comments

There's no 'v' in Stephen Colbert!

2012-01-29T18:52:27Z

So when I found out on Monday that the Republican debate was to be held at my school, I got so excited. I knew I had no chance of actually being at the debate itself, but I could certainly be outside on the Green! None of my co-workers understood this at all. They were all either expressing displeasure at the fact that they had to work through it, or elation that they did not (this from the morning crew). There were snobbish comments like, "I'm staying as far away from that as possible," and "When my shift is over I am getting the hell out of this mess." They kept looking at me like I was crazy and saying, "Why in the world would you want to be there for that!?" I didn't understand it at all. How often does shit like that happen at UNF? How could I not want to be there for it? I really didn't get it. I mean, it's certainly not like I support any of the candidates. But when are Republican debates not entertaining? And surely there was plenty going on on the Green.

( Read on for the exciting details! )

comments

Enchanted Elite (Please join!)

2012-01-25T14:12:28Z

This entry will only interest DreamWidth users, so don't bother with it if you don't have an account.

K guys, so as some of you know, I'm another LiveJournal-to-DreamWidth transfer-n00b, and I am a Harry Potter fan. In my LJ days, I participated in a few HP Sorting comms, which were tons of fun. If you're unfamiliar with what exactly those are, well, first of all you fill out an application. You post that to the main Sorting page, and it is then voted on by other members to determine which house you belong in. Then you get access to the sub-comm for your particular house. It's a good way to meet like-minded people to basically hang with online. Games. Contests. House points. Sounds awesome, right? There are none of these currently active on DW, though a few people have created one that they are trying to get started. But word needs to go out! They need people to apply and people to sort! So if you are at all interested, please spread the word. I present you with:

SORTING | RULES | FAQ
ADMINISTRATION CONTACT | APPLY

After not seeing an active Harry Potter community here on Dreamwidth (and dying a little on the inside), Headmistress Ari set out to create one!
Welcome potential applicants to Enchanted Elite. You get one chance to make it in (because what's the fun if you don't have a little bit of a challenge). We aim to have loads of fun activities, lots of conversations (I mean, we have Pottermore to look forward to), and other things as time goes on.
Join in the fun, be part of the experience. We hope to see you get sorted!

We currently do not have any house heads, once we get a bit of a memberbase in each house, we will be holding elections.

FIRST TERM START DATE IS CURRENTLY TBA! PLEASE TELL YOUR FRIENDS TO JOIN SO WE CAN GET THIS COMMUNITY OFF THE GROUND!

Edit: Yes, I recognize the irony in my promoting a community with the word "elite" in the title under an icon about elitist h0rs, but that is totally in reference to something else.

comments

Chreon Takes Aim at the Dark Side

2012-01-22T18:34:59Z

With Becky's and my help, Manny became Pastor of Video Games at Chreon Ministries yesterday, and it was so rad.

We were discussing the fact that Kasey had just been made a deacon at her and David's church, and Manny made a sly remark that he would like to be a deacon as well. What could he be a deacon of? Well, Becky and Manny decided (and I have no clue what the differences are between deacons, ministers, pastors, preachers, whatever, so I had no input) that you could be a deacon of pretty much anything these days. Manny stated that he would like to be deacon of video games. No, he said, after more consideration, he would like to be a minister of video games. No--better still--he wanted to be Pastor of Video Games, with capital letters. And he wanted business cards to prove it.

At that moment, he was playing Resident Evil 4, and Becky was inquiring about the game a bit. Who was that guy? (It was Leon.) Is he in all the games? (No, Chris is in Resident Evil 5, but he hasn't played that one yet.)

"And," Manny said, "in Resident Evil 6, they're combining Chris and Leon."

"What, they're making a--Chreon?" I said, confused.

Manny explained that, no, they were not combining the two into one unstoppable super-soldier, but pairing them up. He had just used the wrong word. But Becky and I, after much laughter, decided that Chreon simply had to be a thing, and that we would make it ourselves.

"Baby, that's what can go on your business cards! Chreon Ministries!" Becky said. And we headed instantly into the other room to begin work on it.

It took about four hours in all. First we found the most similar (front-facing head shot) images we could of both Chris and Leon:

( Chris )

( Leon )

We then "combined" the two into one unstoppable super-soldier:

( Chreon )

Lastly, we made the business card itself:

( Manny's Business Card )

The quote we got from various Resident Evil titles--"Deadly Aim" and "The Darkside Chronicles". Also, it sounded weirdly appropriate.

At the end of those four hours, we were extremely proud of ourselves, and all of us are very excited to actually hold the final product in our hands.

Also, in my opinion after looking at hundreds of pictures of them each, Chris is totally hotter than Leon.

comments

Enjoy The Silence

2012-01-20T15:40:13Z

Let it be noted that my mind is so exhausted from the week's work that I have nothing to say today. I hope that returning to a more normal, more sane work schedule will change that.

comments

Outed

2012-01-14T17:19:22Z

I had dinner with Becky's family last night. At some point Granny was talking about Tim Tebow and how someone has asked him to stop praying before every game. "It must be those atheists," she said. "They're always trying to do things like that."

I wasn't really listening to the conversation, just sort of off in my own head, because any mention of sports makes my mind sort of go blank with boredom. (I only know who Tim Tebow is because I have a friend who is completely obsessed with him.) But at this point my ears pricked back up. I instantly made eye contact with Manny, who always looks over at me during prayer time like he's trying not to laugh. We exchanged a glance of "you wouldn't know it to look at me, but I'm secretly laughing right now" and then quickly looked away again. Granny continued to ramble on about "those atheists" and what horrible people they are and how they want to control the world and kill all the Christians and eat all their babies.

Kasey said, "Well, Mom, I'm sure they're not all that way," and also sort of glanced at me.

Now, Granny is simply crazy about me. She's always telling them how she thinks I'm just the sweetest girl. But she's also the only one who doesn't know about my beliefs, or lack thereof.

At that point, Manny did something unexpected. He looked over at me and said loudly, "I don't know. Ashley, what do you think?"

Granny looked flabbergasted and said, "Well, why in the world are you asking her?" She turned to me and said, as if the idea were completely ludicrous, "You're not an atheist, are you?"

Taken aback, all I could say was, "Well, yeah."

Granny was completely shocked. "Oh, my word...."

On the one hand, I sort of don't mind that that came up, because now Granny can do one of a few things: She can admit to herself that atheists really aren't all that bad, because she knows one herself (unlikely); she can suddenly decide that she doesn't want to be around me, which will make things very awkward, since I go over there all the time; and she can convince herself that I am just the exception to the rule. Most likely, she will forget that this ever took place. Let's hope.

I'd really hoped that that would never come up with Granny at all.

I guess now I'll just have to do my small part for humanity by continuing to be a good little atheist so she can be enlightened to the fact that we don't worship Satan (since we don't believe in him) or eat babies.

Later, Becky and Manny and I were discussing the Tebow thing and just who it might be who was asking him to stop with the prayer stuff. Becky said, "It might not even be atheists! It could be anyone!"

"I think it's Fox News," I said. "They're causing trouble about it so they can bitch later and blame it all on someone else."

And so it was decided.

comments

Just My Luck

2012-01-14T16:52:58Z

I've always sort of considered Friday the 13th a lucky day. I like to tell people that, because I'm not superstitious, my Friday the 13th will probably turn out very well, because everyone who is superstitious will be expecting bad things to happen to them. Since we tend to believe what we want to believe, everyone else will see very bad things happen to them, which will make my day comparably much better.

So yesterday, on Friday the 13th, I went to an interview and locked my keys in my car.

First I showed up two hours early. I had been told by the corporate guy who lives in Colorado that this place was downtown. I panic anytime the voice of the GPS in my car even suggests the idea of going downtown, because that means I'm near and one wrong turn (of which I make many) could mean I'm there and may never find my way back out. I never go downtown alone, because I can't drive down there. Too many three- and four-way stop signs, one-way streets, and parallel parking places. I will get lost downtown, for a very long time in all likelihood, will probably drive the wrong way down a few streets, and if it is necessary for me to parallel park, then I'm totally screwed.

So I allowed myself an hour and a half of "lost time", leaving myself 20 minutes of show-up-early time for the interview.

But the location was not downtown at all; in fact, it was pretty easy to get to. So I was two hours early. I found an empty parking lot in the vicinity which was not the place where the interview was being held and camped out.

The interview wasn't what I expected. They had scheduled five of us in the same time slot, so they interviewed us all together. I was not happy about that, because I didn't feel I really got to sell myself. Everyone was very polite and not stepping over each other, and we all gave pretty much the same answers to everything. I really don't see what they could have accomplished from that; everyone seemed pretty qualified in my opinion.

One thing, on the other hand, that I had meant to bring up was how people always comment on my smile and how, in two people's words, it "lights up the room". I didn't get to, but later, the interviewer asked us what she called her "Survivor Question", and we had to choose someone (not ourselves) in the room who we would hire if we were her. Two people were chosen twice, and one was voted on once. I was one of the twice-voted, and even though I hadn't gotten to bring up that bit about myself, they both did it for me, one even in the exact words I had intended to use: "I think she'll make an excellent 'face' of your company; she just has one of those faces."

Okay, so that was a bit of luck. And then I went outside, in my short sleeves and no jacket (which I'd left in the car because I didn't want to carry it in with me--I figured a minute or so of chill was tolerable), and discovered that my keys were not on the hook on my purse where they always stay if not in my pocket.

I ended up sitting outside for another two hours, in my short sleeves, while I waited on Manny, who so gallantly came to my rescue.

I really can't believe how much time I wasted yesterday. Hopefully the interview itself will not have been a waste.

comments